Whenever I want to cook a special meal for my children, or close friends, or even my lover, deciding what to cook is easy. I know from years of observation, gentle questioning and a little trial and error, what each of my loved ones enjoys the most. This is how every birthday meal I have ever cooked for my daughter includes a chocolate cake. Even now, after all these years.

At the beginning of any new relationship, uncovering my new love’s favourite meals is part of the journey of discovery. Just as others would ask about the books one has read, I will always enquire about food. Tell me about your hidden desires – check. Your past mistakes – check. What about your favourite foods? Oh, you don’t like dessert? Well, challenge accepted.

If cooking for others is a love language of service and action, then my capacity to show how much I love others holds no bounds. I have delivered food parcels to hospitalised friends at a moment’s notice. I routinely make hampers of food gifts at Christmas, in the fervent belief that the earlier I start, the more I will be able to share. I don’t visit my mother without a jar of home-made lemon butter in hand. She returns the love by gifting me lemons from her tree.

But if someone asks me what my favourite meal is, I struggle for days to reply. Even worse, I would never make it just for myself. It was this realisation that led me to this simple sad truth – if cooking is an act of love, then I have not treated myself as kindly as I have others. Oh sure, I cook for myself, but for too long I have gone through the motions. At the end of a long day, defeated by tiredness and yearning for quiet, my preference is for something simple. What I’ll cook is the meal that will offer the path of least resistance, that will be easy to cook, produce a reliable outcome, and will nourish me. All of which are very noble reasons for cooking, but would I recognise it as an act of love for myself? Not likely.

I’ll admit, coming up with a recipe for a simple expression of self-love was much harder than I thought it would be. It showed me how neglectful I have been of my own desires, of my own pleasure and at a time when I live on my own, it highlighted my focus on others. Others who, let’s just say, don’t deserve to eat this magnificent dish.

Let’s put the world to rights, shall we?

This recipe for crispy-skinned duck, eaten in fluffy bao, fills the brief. It looks incredibly complex however it can be done ahead and frozen for those tiring days when a simple re-heat is all you can manage. While this recipe is enough for two, I’ve included instructions for freezing some of it if you want to just feed yourself two luscious meals instead. Better still, some of the key components – plum sauce and bao buns – can be bought  pre-made, ready for whenever you need reminding that self-love has always mattered and should never be forgotten again.

Ingredients

2 duck Marylands, or 4 duck legs, bone in and skin on

1 tbsp Sichuan peppercorns or 1 tsp ground Sichuan pepper

½ tsp coarse black pepper

20g or 4 tbsp black tea leaves

1 tsp Chinese five spice powder

1 tbsp grated ginger

2 spring onions, white part only

2 tsp soft brown sugar

1 tbsp sea salt

Vegetable oil for frying

1 egg yolk

Plain flour for dusting

Plum sauce*, to serve 

8 frozen bao buns,* to serve

1 small Lebanese cucumber, to serve

BLACK VINEGAR DIPPING SAUCE

1 tbsp black vinegar

1 tbsp light soy sauce

1 tbsp hoisin sauce

METHOD

Wipe and pat dry the duck and place in a large bowl.

Place tea leaves, peppers, five spice, ginger and spring onion in the bowl of a small food processor and blend until coarsely ground. Mix in the sugar and salt and pour over the duck legs. Pat the mixture into the flesh making sure it is covered well, then cover the bowl with cling wrap and leave to cure in the fridge for at least 8 hours or overnight.

Wash the curing mix off under running water and pat dry. The skin will be a dark brown/grand the flesh will have tightened up. Place the duck legs in the base of a steamer, and place over a pan of simmering water. Steam for 3 hours, topping up the water as you need to. At this point you can freeze the cooked duck legs in an airtight container, meaning you can defrost them then fry them at short notice whenever you want.

Fill a deep saucepan with oil until it reaches about 10cm up the sides. Heat over medium heat until it reaches about 180⁰c or until a cube of bread starts to brown and crisp within 20 seconds.

Place frozen bao buns into a steamer basket and steam over simmering water for 8-10 minutes according to instructions on the packet. Slice the cucumber into thin strips and set aside.

Beat egg yolk with a tablespoon of water and brush over the duck leg. Dredge plain flour over the egg and shake off the excess.

Carefully lower the duck into the hot oil and fry for 4-5 minutes until the skin is very dark and crispy. Drain on paper towel.

Serve duck with bao, cucumber strips, plum sauce and vinegar on the side. To eat, fill each bao with pieces of succulent duck, that magical crispy skin, a slice of cucumber and a spoon of plum sauce. Dip into a pot of vinegar dipping sauce and enjoy every loving mouthful.

VINEGAR DIPPING SAUCE

Combine all ingredients and a spoonful of water in a small bowl and whisk to combine.

*Frozen bao buns and Plum sauce are currently available at Aldi, for a limited time. You can also use Peking duck pancakes or iceberg lettuce cups for a low carb alternative.