The Hidden Room

One Woman’s journey into Kink.

Anonymous Blogger

Recently my online dating life has taken an interesting turn. By taking a chance and swiping right on a “different” sort of profile I’ve found myself in the world of kink. I suppose I’ve had an abstract interest in this world since I was introduced to Dan Savage’s Savage Lovecast podcast about five years ago. It’s not that I didn’t know that there was a world of kink and fetish out there but I hadn’t really experienced it or known much about it in my personal life.

To be fair I previously had a very brief dating relationship with a man who was into this world and while our fledgling relationship didn’t pan out for other reasons I did enjoy the beginnings of exploring this world with him. A memorable Friday night involved us having very hot sex both dressed as French maids, including stockings and heels.

So some years later I swipe right on J* and very quickly learn of his kinks which are broad and fascinating and exciting. I take a big step into what I call the Hidden Room. It’s been there all along but until someone opens the door for you you can easily keep walking past, not knowing what’s behind that door

In the brief period of time I’ve known J, he has been a gentle, caring and wonderful guide into the Hidden Room, at least the part that he knows and explores. For me it’s been like falling into Alice’s Looking Glass. A Wonderland of ideas, people and experiences… and it’s only just begun.

On Saturday night J invited me to come to a well known Sydney kink venue for their regular party. We started at what is called a Munch: a social gathering for those involved and interested in the BDSM scene. It was held in a pub on the outskirts of the city and upon walking in it appeared a regular Saturday night at a bar. People standing and sitting, drinking, eating and chatting. There were young, uni student types, middle aged couples (like us), older people, people dressed in very understated clothes and some with just a hint of fetish in their attire (animal ears, for example). J introduced me to the people he knew, all were friendly and welcoming. We shared a meal and some drinks and then it was time to head to the party.

I must preface this by saying I spent the week of anticipation prior to the party thinking I would go in with no preconceived ideas about how I would participate or how I would even react to what I would see at the party. J made it very clear that I could do as much or as little as I wanted and there was zero pressure on me to be anything more than be an observer. Having never experienced such a party I was going in with a great deal of anticipation about my own reaction.

To be fair I watch a lot of kink/BDSM porn so I had some ideas about what I might see. 

Upon our arrival we got changed into our carefully picked out kink party wear. At this stage I should explain that J is into cross dressing, particularly women’s lingerie and stockings and heels. It is utterly erotic to plan your outfits to match (despite my jealousy at his ability to walk in heels so much better than I ever have or will). We both wore stockings, suspenders, heels (mine boots, his stilettos); he wore a short skirt and shirt and I wore a tasseled cape which barely covered my nipples. I have never thought of myself as an exhibitionist but I was incredibly aroused by walking out into a public domain dressed like this.

My Journey into Kink

We did a tour of the three levels of the party venue. Three narrow levels each with an array of BDSM equipment: St Andrew’s crosses, spanking benches, a massage table, even a medical room for needle play. There were also chill out areas with sofas, etc. There were an array of people there from an older gentleman wearing scanty pink bra and g-string to some young single guys, eager as Labrador puppies. Single people can’t participate in scenes unless explicitly asked or given permission so for most of the single people these nights are voyeuristic only.

After our tour we decided to play on a St Andrew’s cross. My turn first. I was carefully bound, arms and feet, to the points of the cross and blindfolded. J proceeded to deliciously tease and tantalise, paddle my ass and whip my ass and legs. At this point I should say even if you’re not into kink at all please try a blindfold for sex play. I can’t begin to tell you how much more exciting it is to have someone play with your body while you are blindfolded, all your other senses on high alert.

When we started I wasn’t really thinking about other people in the room. I was totally focused on what was happening between J and me. It was intimate and intense. A few minutes after we started he leaned in and whispered “you have an audience”. Again, never having thought of myself as an exhibitionist, I was quite interested to observe my own excited reaction. It didn’t scare me or faze me at all, it just added to the intense pleasure I was experiencing. As our session continued he would come and kiss me and again whisper about us being watched. It was incredible.

Then we switched places. One of the interesting things we had learned about each other, thanks to a BDSM quiz, was that we were both Switches, a term that applies to people who enjoy both the Dom and Sub roles in BDSM. It was J’s turn to be bound to the cross and spanked and teased. It was my first time on the side of the Dom role so I’m sure I did a very below par job but it was fun and I have lots of ideas for next time.

I was also interested in watching the older couple playing next to us where there was a very definite Dom/Sub partnership and the male Dom was an expert at doling out punishment. His kit of paddles, whips and other paraphernalia was impressive. I did wince on her behalf but they looked like they were expert in their roles so I was comfortable watching their scene.

When we’d had enough of the cross J suggested the sex swing and I was all for that. Now things got interesting. We went to the upstairs level where the swing was housed and made our little nest around it. It was my turn first so I was bound to the swing, cape removed and blindfold applied. This time there were also nipple clamps which, when applied right, are exquisite. I knew J was going to fuck me and I was, again much to my own surprise, very comfortable with this happening in a public environment. Who knew?!

What came next was fucking amazing. Again let me say that J was aware of my gang-bang fantasies which is why he cautiously allowed the following scene to unfold. Not long after he started fucking me I could feel hands on my breasts and body. At first I thought it was him but quickly realised he wasn’t an eight legged octopus and it dawned on me that others had become involved. Wow! Mind blown. It was such a fantasy come true and it was SOOOOOO HOT! I think I’m glad I was blindfolded because actually seeing what was happening might have been overwhelming. Instead it was just amazing sensation, just like I had imagined it. Hands and mouths everywhere, with my gorgeous J’s cock where it was meant to be.

The sensation of strange hands on my nipples, hot breath of strangers around me, mouths on my mouth, fingers on my clit, the sound of masturbating cocks around me. It was completely intoxicating and hot and I couldn’t have been more turned on. All rational thought drifted away and I was just nerve endings and lust and a dripping wet pussy. When I watch this sort of porn I wonder if you could just fall into that cavern of debauchery and leave “yourself” behind. This experience proved that you absolutely can… or at least I absolutely can. After a while I did get a bit claustrophobic and J asked everyone to stop which they instantly did.

I was untied, exhilarated and ridiculously turned on. J told me he saw an opportunity for me to live out my fantasy and he allowed the guys who had gathered to watch and masturbate to touch me. I knew he would stop it immediately if things got out of control or I wanted it to stop.

We swapped places and once J was bound I proceeded to tease him and to give him a blow job to remember. I love blow jobs, which are intimate in any context, but when your receiver is bound and blindfolded it is an amazing experience for both people. There was only an audience of one for this part of our scene.

During this I scene I thought about how much “extra” it would be with someone else to play with. Another cock fucking me while I was blowing J, another pussy for J to lick or touch or breasts for him to suck. I answered my own question about the group sex dynamic. Is it possible? I think there is something to be said for that overwhelm of erotic sensation. Every erotic center triggered at the same time.

Blissful, intoxicating sex like this is an assault on all your senses (and the blindfold is a way of enhancing the other senses by taking away one). It’s about letting go of all ideas about what’s “right” or “normal” and allowing yourself to float on a river of pleasure.

We cleaned up and got changed. On our way out we bumped into a couple we’d met soon after arriving. A nice looking couple similar in age to us. I remember thinking that they looked like they’d be fun to play with (surprising myself yet again). We had a brief conversation and I was sad that we didn’t have a chance to play. (As a footnote, we’ve since connected on Fetlife… so who knows…)

I left on an absolute high. The night was pleasurable on so many different levels. Physically of course… But I had learned so much about myself. What I was capable of. That I was braver than I had ever thought. That I was an exhibitionist. That I loved my body and felt sexy and powerful and amazing. That being with a trusted, caring, sex positive, kinky partner is an absolute gift. After many years of vanilla these were all intoxicating things to discover.